My father was an exceptional golfer. For many years he played off scratch (meaning his handicap  was zero) and he once reached the semi-finals of the English Amateur tournament. Two days before  he died, aged seventy-three, he won a small local golf competition, playing off a handicap of seven.  It will be no surprise to discover that he introduced me to golf at a young age, giving me a cut-down  golf club at the age of three, and he both taught and encouraged me to play throughout my life. It  will also be no surprise therefore to hear that my great ambition growing up was to beat him at golf,  firstly because he was such a good golfer and secondly simply because he was my father – every  young boy wants to beat his dad!  

There came a day when the moment had surely arrived! With two holes to play I was two holes up –  I could not be beaten and all I had to do was equal his score at one of the two final holes and I would  beat him. On the seventeenth, we both reached the green in two, so I was very confident I would at  least halve the hole and thus win the match. As my ball was furthest from the hole I putted first and  

my ball ended up just inches from the hole so I went up and took my ball away as he had given me  putts of such length all through the round. He in turn two putted so I put my hand out to thank him  for the match as I had now won. He asked what I was doing and I replied I was thanking him as I had  won the match – we had halved the hole so I won the match. He then told me I had not won the  hole but had actually lost it; that confused me as we had both scored four. He advised me that he  had not given me the putt so in picking up my ball I had in fact conceded the hole; it did not matter  that he had given me putts earlier in the round as he had not given me that putt! Technically, he was  correct though morally I felt he was taking advantage of me. Undaunted, however, I went to the last  tee, still confident that I would achieve my dream of beating him, by at least halving the final hole.  

Once again we ended up on the green in the same number of shots; once again I was furthest from  the hole so I putted first and put my ball inches from the hole. This time I did not pick the ball up in  the belief that he would give it to me but I went up and putted it into the hole. He then also two putted which meant we halved the hole but I had won the match. As graciously as I could, I went to  shake his hand with my thanks and respect, only to be told by him, once again, that I had not  actually won! I protested that I had been careful to putt out and that we had the same score so I  must have won the match. He then pointed out that while I had indeed putted out I had done so out  of turn as his ball was further from the hole once I had hit my first putt. As a result, he advised me, I  incurred a penalty and therefore lost the hole! Technically, once again, he was correct, even if all the  way through the round (and in previous games) he had allowed it to go unmentioned!  

Now I would wish to point out that my father was not just an exceptional golfer but was also an  exceptional man. I would wish to say straight away that he was not a bad or desperate loser who  would do anything to win. He was always a man of real integrity and dignity, a man of great honesty  and humility. So, why did he seemingly go out of his way to make sure he did not lose that match?  He was actually teaching me crucial life lessons. He was pushing me to try even harder in the pursuit  of my goals. In retrospect I saw how he had the uncanny ability to give me sufficient number of  strokes per round to make it an even contest yet always with him coming out on top; he would  never win by such a wide margin that I would be tempted to give up or to think it was unfair.  

The lessons that I learned that day were massive, sure, in the form of not assuming any shot is given  and not playing out of turn. However, I learned far greater and more important, significant and long lasting lessons that day through a simple (and very enjoyable) round of golf, lessons which were not  simply confined to the golf course. I learned the importance of observing rules and of respecting  

etiquette. I learned the significance of setting targets and of requiring determination. I learned the  relevance of facing setbacks, disappointment and injustice and of keeping calm in all such situations.  

And some say sport is just a game! Some wonder why we do sport at school! Sport teaches young  people so many crucial life lessons, each of which is especially relevant in Zimbabwe as we go into  the new year. When we realise that, we discover the wonderful truth that we cannot actually lose!