The first lady British Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher, once famously said that, “Being powerful is like being a lady: if you have to tell people you are, you aren’t!” The same is true for being successful, especially in sport; if we have to tell people we are successful, we are not. The fact is, people will see for themselves if we are successful; they do not need to be told. If we tell people, we are not being successful because we do not have a key ingredient of success, namely humility. We may have been successful as a player but we will not have been successful as a person. How much more successful we might become if we only developed that quality of humility.
Yet how often, if ever, do we as coaches, or indeed as parents, teach our children to be humble? Instead, we ourselves boast of the unbeaten record, the big victories over close rivals, the number of accolades and awards handed over. We gloat over failures and defeats of others; we draw attention to ourselves, our achievements. We focus on results (as long as they are in our favour). Yet the mantra behind the success of the All Blacks (New Zealand) rugby team is well-recorded as “A better person makes a better player”. The question for coaches must be asked, therefore: how much time do we spend on improving the person as opposed to the player in our teams?
We should point out that it is not true or logical to conclude from this thinking that if we just take a good person then he or she will be a great sportsperson automatically. Obviously there needs to be some sporting ability. However, if we ignore their character and concentrate only on their talent then we will stunt their growth. Indeed, if we focus more on the playing ability we will not be able to develop them as much as we can.
How then do we go about improving someone as a person as opposed to a player? We may improve a player tactically, skilfully, physically but as a person we need to improve them mentally, emotionally, socially, morally. If those aspects of their character develop and grow, they will be better equipped to improve as a player.
When we coach a player in his sport we explain the skill or move as well as the reason behind it; we demonstrate it so he can see it in action; we practise it with him through repetitions, exercises and drills. So when it comes to improving the person we follow the same route. We explain exactly what is meant by such qualities (integrity, dignity, honesty, humility and more) and why they are important; we demonstrate and exemplify them in our own life, for them to see; we give them opportunities to practise them again and again and highlight where they may not be doing it.
One major way, which indeed covers most other qualities and values that children need to improve, is in the area of respect. We need to teach youngsters the importance of respect, for all areas of life; in sport, it will begin with respecting the rules, the officials, the opposition, the team-mates, the training sessions, the opportunities provided. We do not look down on others but give them due honour. Spend more time on developing respect in the person and he will become a better player; he, in turn, will have a greater impact in society.
Neil Powell, the coach of the successful Springbok rugby Sevens squad, held the view that, “If I improve you as a player but not as a person, I have failed you as a coach and as a mentor”. He has discovered and shown humility in saying that, showing that he has improved as a person, which no doubt led to him coaching a highly successful national team. He also underlines the crucial lesson that youngsters need to learn – how to handle failure. Instead of trying to be powerful we would be wiser to try to be more Powell-ful.
So then, we have to ask ourselves this important question: How much time do we invest in improving the person in comparison to improving him as a player? We may have received training in order to qualify as a sports coach, but how much training have we undertaken to be a life coach? That should be our greatest priority. Furthermore we should invest our energy and time in becoming a better person as we will undoubtedly become a better coach as a result. And we will not need to tell people that; they will see it. What is more, they will respect it.
