In 1967 the soul singer Aretha Franklin had a massive hit with her song entitled ‘Respect’. It went on to become an anthem for all those who felt unappreciated, and especially for women. All she asked for was respect. And all we ask for is respect, especially as teachers! However, as one line in the song goes, “Find out what it means to me” – we need to find out what respect does actually mean. If not, as the song also cries, “Or you might walk in and find I’m gone.”
During the COVID19 lockdown, many parents expressed the view that they had gained a new respect for teachers, by having to ‘home-school’ their own children. That is wonderful and some would no doubt (unfairly) say it is long-overdue. Let us in turn show due respect to parents and to pupils; just as ‘respect’ means literally ‘look again’, let us look again at what respect does actually mean and imply. This is important as one of the most important lessons that our pupils have to learn, by living and working in a community such as a school, is encapsulated in that one word, ‘respect’.
What we as teachers need to learn above all else, if we are to teach this value above all else, is that we must show respect. Sadly, for far too long, we have relied on the system which decrees that respect must be given, no matter what. This is a system that demands that respect is shown to elders, to seniors, to teachers, to prefects, to those in authority, simply because they happen to be older, more qualified academically or simply appointed (officially and unofficially, it should be added).
We have demanded respect; we have insisted upon it, probably because it is not naturally there. Yet why should children respect a teacher simply because he is the teacher when he may be lazy, rude, biased, ignorant, untruthful, aggressive, uncaring, ungrateful, casual or sloppy? All we are breeding are young people who will later become old people who will demand respect while being corrupt, greedy, lazy, aggressive, ignorant, weak and uncaring. The system rewards such people with privileges and benefits while restricting those beneath them, and in so doing it perpetuates the system.
In contrast, we should be creating a system that models and rewards respect that is earned. If we are against such a system, it would be well to consider if the reason we are against it is that we would not receive respect if we did introduce such a system. Respect should be earned; it should be merited. We do not need any qualifications to do that; it does not depend on IQ in any manner at all. It is perfectly feasible for anyone of any age and ability.
So the million dollar question is this: how do we earn respect? And the answer costs no money at all. We earn respect when we show respect. People will show respect when they are shown respect. Respect can be summarised in the Golden Rule which states that we should “Do to others as you would wish them do to you.” If we would like respect to be given we must show respect to others.
As teachers, we will show respect to our pupils (and indeed their parents) when we accept them as they are (and not require them to meet a certain standard before we will respect them). We will acknowledge their contributions (whether right or wrong), their views, their differences and their difficulties. We will listen to their ideas, their concerns, their objections, their fears, their passions and their questions; we will listen in order to gain an understanding from which we can help them to move forward. We will explain why we require standards of them, rather than just expect them, having heard their possible objections. We will greet, recognise and thank them; we will take the initiative in this regard and not wait for them to start the process.
In other words, we will set the example for them to follow; we will show them what we mean them to do. We will be willing to walk in their shoes, to see things from their perspective. We will do all we can to honour and protect their dignity and diversity, their identity and individuality, their privacy and potency. The demanding motto “Don’t do as I do; do as I say” is purely the anthem of hypocrites, of people with logs in their eyes trying to get the speck out of the children’s eyes. The song ‘Respect’ also has the line, “What you want, baby, I got” and such should be our refrain as teachers. We have respect; we must make it something they want and they see and, ultimately, they have. R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
