There are good sports commentators and there are bad sports commentators. By “bad”, we mean  those who say the obvious or indeed opposite of what is meant. One athletics commentator stated  that, “There’s going to be a real ding-dong when the bell goes” while another said: “There is Brendan  Foster, by himself, with 20,000 people”. The same commentator also announced that, “Here’s Moses  Kiptanui – the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago”. A soccer commentator famously  said that, “For those of you watching in Black and White, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip” while  another declared that the one team “have won 66 games, and they’ve scored in all of them.”  

There are, however, thankfully, good commentators! Cricket commentators may have more time to  think about what they are going to say, given that the play may be seen as moving slightly more  slowly, but they still produce some memorable comments. John Arlott was a well-known English  commentator who expressively noted that “The batsman’s technique was like an old lady poking her  umbrella at a wasp’s nest” while on another occasion he announced that “It is rather suitable for  umpires to dress like dentists, since one of their tasks is to draw stumps.” He also wonderfully said  that one batsman “Played a cut so late as to be positively posthumous”. In turn, one Australian  commentator tongue-in-cheek was heard to say of an English batter: “Well, Andrew Strauss is  certainly an optimist—he’s come out wearing sunblock”.  

It is fair to say that Zimbabwe has also produced some quality sporting commentators. Pommie  Mbangwa is now a household name and a hugely popular contributor to international cricket  commentaries, having played fifteen Test Matches and twenty-nine One Day Internationals for  Zimbabwe between 1996 and 2002. He speaks with authority, understanding, interest and insight,  focussing the attention on the players and not on himself (unlike many former players of different  sports who become commentators or pundits). Then there is the remarkable Dean Du Plessis, who  has never played international cricket – indeed he has never played any cricket as he has been blind  from birth yet he is able to describe and summarise with great clarity, passion, knowledge, accuracy  and humility all that happens on the field of play. These commentators inform and entertain.  

It is especially interesting to discover that Dean Du Plessis is remembered by a number of  international players as being a young schoolboy who phoned them from a phone box to quiz them  about all aspects of the game, using up his limited pocket money to do so. And there perhaps lies a  wonderful challenge for our youngsters today, sighted or otherwise, in particular those who wish to  do well in their playing career. Coaches would do well to have the youngsters in their care  commentate on games, as this would show how much understanding of the game the youngster  has, how well he can read the game, how well he sees what is happening and how much he can  anticipate what will happen. It may only be when the youngster hears words coming out of his  mouth that he fully understands and appreciates what is happening on the field. It will pay the  player and the coach well to give youngsters such an opportunity to commentate.  

There are many careers in sport for those who may never make the grade in playing. People often  speak about such careers as physiotherapists, psychologists and analysts but we should not forget  the wonderful opportunities for youngsters to continue with their love of sport through  commentating on, and writing about, the game they love. Can the fast bowler become a fast talker?  Can the spin bowler bamboozle with his words as well? They may even do better. Many great  players become commentators so maybe commentators can become great players.  

Pommie Mbangwa is quoted as saying, when he stopped playing and took up commentating, that,  “The buzz of competing was replaced by the adventure of live commentary”, all of which helps the  retired player. Many coaches are seen to talk a good game, to outwit their opponents and to upbuild  their own players with their words but they would do well too to help their players improve their  own game by allowing them to talk about the game as much as play it. After all, as Arrigo Sacchi, the  successful coach of Italy, once said in defending his own meagre playing record, “You don’t have to  have been a horse to be a jockey”. And you have heard it here straight from the horse’s mouth!