I have been involved in rugby for nearly 50 years, initially as a player and later as a Coach, Referee  and CMO. I am particularly passionate about Schoolboy rugby and I applaud the incredible skills of  our youngsters! It is fantastic to see kids, even at Primary School level, show flair, commitment and  dedication.  

There is, however, a worrying trend in the general increase in intensity, competitiveness, and a need  to “win at all costs”. This is not what the game is about. This has led to some over-zealous comments  and behaviour aimed not only at the referee, but also at the players themselves. We all need to  remember that the game is for the boys. It is NOT for the parents. It is NOT for the spectators. It is  NOT for the coaches. The “Win at All Costs” ethos is simply not acceptable at school level.  

Having said that, it is very pleasing to note that most schools do acknowledge the need to adhere to  Rugby’s Code of Conduct. This is indeed, most gratifying. At a recent school match for example, an  opponent had the chance to win a match with a last minute penalty kick at goal. As he lined up his  kick, the home crowd began to boo and hiss at him. In my opinion, this was a very poor advert for  the school so I stopped the kicker. I approached the schoolboys in the crowd and silenced them. The  kicker eventually missed and the home team won by a small margin. What pleased me most was to  receive a written apology from the headmaster. He had been embarrassed by the incident and had  warned the entire school to “Never do that again!” Well done that man!  

There is a saying: “Respect your opponent because, without him, you are nothing”. This applies, not  just to rugby, but to all sports as well. It is echoed in the following short poem (in the form of a  grace) should be read carefully: there is a message there for us all.  

Father in heaven who lovest all  

Protect us Refs when’ere we call;  

Guard us from those vocal fools  

Who do not even know the rules!  

When tempers flare and a fist is flung  

Grant us keep a civil tongue  

To sly infringement of-time led  

Grant us eyes behind our head!  

Teach us calmness, coolness both,  

To taunts and jibes and foul-mouthed oath.  

Scrums are a mess but the tackles worse  

So help us ignore the players’ curse.  

The parent and coach may scream and shout  

But help them remember what the game’s about.  

So teach us manners, respect and decorum  

Every time we enter the rugby forum.  

Remind all proponents just the same  

Just why we love this glorious game.  

Thus 30 men and a ball un-round  

What’ere the time, where’ere the ground  

Grant our corp Nobility  

Fair dealing and Sagacity.  

Now bless we pray Player, Coach and Referee  

And bless rugby folk who share this grace with me.